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avatar naveeloc 1 day.ago

I hate going to the grocery store because I always have to look at some fat idiot scanning my food.

They need to add the option to turn off the self checkout camera.

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. What do you call a spider's necessities?

Arachneeds

2. What do you call an alliance of con artists?

Confusion

3. Mick Jagger and Hugh Jackman were at a party aboard the Great Fox.

Now, Hugh, let's say he'd been hitting the sauce a little too hard. Was starting to act a little violent. He was ready to pick a fight, you see. And when Fox tried to calm him down, Hugh Jackman, in a fit of drunken rage, pounced on him and started beating him up. Mick Jagger witnessed all of this unfold, and so his response was to try and break it up by shouting "Hey! Hugh! Get off of McCloud!"

4. In Communist Russia it's not a minefield...

It's *ourfield*.

5. My vision is so good that...

I-see-ums!

6. Why did the tree roll his eyes and raise his branches higher?

because he was sycamore puns.

7. What is Hannibal Lecter’s favorite movie?

Gladiator

8. Why couldn't the frog drive the car?

Because it got toad!

9. Is there an opposite of Sicily?

No, silly

10. What's the difference a Reliant All-Season Tire & 365 used condoms?

The former is a Goodyear and the latter is a GREAT year!

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